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05/19/2002 Archived Entry: "Boy am I Somber"

Right now I'm listening to "Scar" sung by Ayumi Hamasaki. It's such a somber song. I don't know what the song is all about, but the sound of it seems to reflect the kind of mood I'm in right now. Actually, I'm in this kind of mood a lot. Right now I'm thinking about things in my life. I don't know, but I've been feeling... I don't know... not really happy. I'm not exactly sad and/or depressed, but I'm not exactly happy jolly either. I don't know why, but I have the idea that there is something missing in my life. Something that would make me happy. Sure, anime, manga, games, and/or friends can make me happy temporarily, but I always seem to end up back in this somber, indifferent mood sooner or later. Geez... I don't want to be like this. I want to be happy, but for some reason, I can't be. *sigh*

As far as my day went, today my family and I went out to take pictures at a studio. My mom insisted. So we got dressed up and went out and took pictures. It fairly boring, except that they were playing some nice Hikki and Ayumi music. Woo! That was pretty nice.

Hey, if you want to join one of the log crews, just tell me which character you want to be. I know you'll be getting something better than a Xanga sometime soon, so you can just take a character now and then I can change your URL when you make your move. When you get a better log, you can put up the list of crew members with links to them. It's that simple, really.

Replies: 5 comments

umm i dunno why but umm it's some what hard to read what u wrote around the top parts of yer web log...
well anyway back on the subject at matter...
we all feel like were missing someting... even if u think other people may have it all.. there's always something there missing....
anyway.. hook me up w/ a pic if there were like indiviual shots or something ^^

Posted by Cinti @ 05/20/2002 09:52 PM PST

*pats* I think too much. But anyways, hope you feel better. It really stinks to be callous to life isn't it? I end up feeling guilty but I can't do anything about it. Just give it time. Take a break from life somehow. Somehow this ties into my religion class e_e;; We're learning about Hinduism, (I don't think you're Hindu but I'll mention this anyway) and their worldview is how humans are always seeking something that will eternally satisfy themselves. Not pleasures, or worldly needs, or charity but something else... I think it was "Moksha" which would be to seek liberation from limitations, to want existance, to know, to be happy. ^_^;; *can imagine Tsu-kun looking at me with a funny expression* Um... maybe I'll shut up.

Blog crew-wise! Saga would like to be Shinguuji Sakura from Sakura Taisen and Maehara Shinobu from Love Hina. ^^; If that's ok? Let me know.

*hugs* Feel better!!

Posted by Saga @ 05/20/2002 05:57 PM PST

::pat::pat:: Wa,, cheer up! I'm not very good in cheering peeps up, but I try doing so. The least you can do is not think about things that seem to pull you back. I'm a friend, and you can't changed that remember ^_O.

Posted by hananikko @ 05/20/2002 12:41 AM PST

k^^ i'l lthink of da character=D dargh sdupid Xanga, I really gotta get up my lazy butt off one of these days and redo my blog^^"' un eventurally=D.. thanks davey-chu^_^

Posted by T-Chan @ 05/19/2002 11:37 PM PST

well, you already said what it was what you were missing, you kno! but its okay, sorry that you cant seem to think about what it is that you are "missing" sorry.

Posted by moo @ 05/19/2002 08:57 PM PST

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