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06/04/2002 Archived Entry: "Bah! Honors Night...."

3 more days of school.

I came back from Honors Night a little while ago. It's a ceremony where all the seniors with honors are recognized for their accomplishments. I was invited to go because I received a governer's scholarship, which you get for getting in the top 10% of your school or 5% of the state on the state-wide STAR test. Yep, my only award. Well, I would be getting other awards, but lets just say that I've gotten less than spectacular grades before. Not horrible mind you, but enough to push my unweighted GPA down below the minimum for honors. Granted, weighted, it's higher, but they don't take that into account when considering honors. So yah, I had one honor to receive, so I went. Joy. That was a great ceremony. Well... it wasn't so bad, but we had to wear our graduation gowns and we were forced to sit around all huddled together, so it got rather stuffy. I got really hot. Bah!

I really think that it was a waste of my time. With my one award, it wasn't worth my time. Besides, it's money, so I don't really need recognition to be happy. ^_^ Maybe I shouldn't have gone. Eh... it's too late for thinking about that now. I suppose I could have gotten more awards if I hadn't been asking for pain throughout my high school career. I always tried to go for the honors/AP classes whenever I could. Not because I wanted something good to put onto my college application, but because I genuinely want to learn. You always learn more in advanced classes. Also, because the other students want to learn too, the atmosphere is better than in a normal grade level class. So yah, those classes killed my chances for some high honors, but I don't really care. There's no use regretting anything. It's already passed. Besides, I was never a normal honors student. You know the type: those who always ask everyone else what their test scores are and those who compare A's. Che. I despise that kind of attitude. Why should you care about what anyone else gets on their tests? Shouldn't only your score matter? Why should you care about who's A is higher? You have a freakin' A! Be content! Geez... I just don't understand these guys. I learn for the sake of learning, not competing. I think I'm the most non-honors-like student in the entire senior class.

Then after the ceremony, I was treated to another fun moment. I hung out with my friends for a while, but eventually they went home. All of them. I only have so many friends, so when they left, I was kinda left alone. Also, I came with my parents. After the ceremony, my dad was tired, so they went home and they said that they would come back. Alright, so I waited for them out by the parking lot because I didn't have anyone to spend time with. It was then that I thought about how I only have a few friends. Sure, I'm familiar with a lot of people, but they are just aquaintaces. I don't ever talk to them. When my friends leave, I'm left with no one to spend time with. I don't fit in anywhere. Considering how I've been in honors classes for four years, you'd think that I'd have made friends with some of the other honors students. Atheletes? Nope. The populars? Nope. It was then that I felt really lonely. I always get that way whenever I don't have anyone around. It isn't a feeling that I get often, but whenever I do get it, it's rather depressing. I'm feeling better now, but dang, I can't deny that this loneliness is something that haunts me.

Shinobu:
Dang, you're quitting logging too? Well... I'll miss your log, but I understand. I hope you feel a lot better.

Than:
Birthday's soon, eh? You seem excited. I hope you have a great day because everyone deserves to have a good birthday.

Saga:
Seems like you're pretty on top of your work there. Good job. *pat pat* Just keep that up a little longer and then you're year will be over. ^_^

You'll be changing schools? Yah, that is kinda sad about how you have to be separated from your friends. I know what that feels like. I'm gonna be separated from several of my friends. It's sad indeed....

Thanks for the suggestions. I'll look into PitaTen and Full Moon wo Sagashite. I'm sure they're good if you're recommending them. ^_^

Replies: 3 comments

Hey davey chu=D Cheer up okei? I feel lonely like that too alot=( just look on the bright side of things=D and that'll cheer ya up^_^'

Full Moon is trippy, the theme song is so weird XD

Posted by T-Chan @ 06/05/2002 01:26 PM PST

Hey Tsubasa-san~ How ya doin? Go ahead and take the survey, that was the point o_O~ w00t! Congratulations on your honors too, I think about how many few friends I have.. then again, they dont really like me anymore o_O

Posted by Gomaki @ 06/05/2002 07:11 AM PST

Aww.. cheer up, doods. 8D The more you think about being lonley, the more down you'd fell. Yet, I never told u it worries me to see you lonely..... As a friend there's nothing more better than seeing you be happy. SO..........SMILE ^^

Posted by HanaNikko @ 06/04/2002 11:58 PM PST

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