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11/17/2002 Archived Entry: "Anime or Internet!?!?!?!?"

I'm over the whole tourney thing. I suppose I just had to sleep it off. Unfortunately, I was just presented with an even bigger dilemma.

My dad just gave me a lecture again. This one consisted of the usual basically saying that he thinks I never think, how I lack necessary survival skills, how I should go out and play some sports, and how I should give up anime. Now usually he just sees fit to berate me about these "shortcomings" (several of which I'm sure he doesn't realize I do not possess), he decided to get decisive today. That last point there, giving up anime, he decided to issue me an ultimatum: give up anime or the internet. Yes, he's actually making me decide! He's giving me a week before he asks me again. If I choose anime, he won't try to limit my anime watching anymore, but he will disconnect my internet. If I choose the internet, I'll have to give up at the very least, all the anime files on the computer. You don't know how hard I'm trying right now to keep back the tears. You don't know how much I want to cry. But I can't. If he happens to pop into this room, I can't let him see me crying. I can't let him know that this deeply hurts me in ways he can't understand. On one hand, anime is my passion in life. Ever since I've become a fanboy one fateful day eight years ago, anime has always been there for me. Through the bad times it cheered me up. Through the good times it augmented the enjoyment. Iíve learned countless life lessons from countless series. And most importantly, I simply enjoyed just watching it. I am who I am today because of my innumerable hours logged just watching anime. And I happen to like who Iíve turned out to be. On the other hand, I basically live on the internet. I am always connected and always doing something online. Without it, my life would be hour upon hour of nothing to do. Yes, it is a tough decision. One that I never, ever want to be forced to make. Unfortunately, Iím gonna have to this week. Ack! I'm in such emotional turmoil. I've thought it out and I think I'll tell him I'll give up anime. Of course I'm not really giving it up, I'm merely saying that. I'll just archive my files to CDs and hide them or something and hide all my bookmarks somewhere. I suppose I could do that and just never let him see anything anime-related on the monitor ever again and things won't be so bad, but it still hurts. I love anime so much and I can't seem to express it openly? I'll have to resort to closet anime fandom or nothing at all? It hurts. A lot. I want to cry, but I can't do it openly. I think I'll go to sleep early tonight and just cry myself to sleep. I know I generally don't ask for comments, but please do so today. I need some kind of encouragement cause it looks like I'm entering the harshest times yet in my life.

Replies: 13 comments

OMG...I totally understand! *hugs* This is such a hard decision to make, but there are many decisions like that in life. If I were you, I would probably just tell my dad I will give up anime, but still hide anime things somewhere in my room. I mean, he can't exactly CHANGE your hobbies right? That would be just WRONG. *hugs* I sympathize with you, but I'm confident that you will go through this rough time!!

Asian parents suck...period. Just take my screwed-in-the-head mother for example *pat pat*

Posted by Sepia @ 11/23/2002 06:28 AM PST

Wow, that really sucks monkey balls. X_x;; It's not a fair decision to make and no one should even have to think about giving up something you love. But in actuality, you're dad's not REALLY telling you to give up anime or the internet; he just wants you to be discreet about it.

You don't neccesarily need the internet to get anime. If anything, you could get a program that can transfer the mpeg files you have to a video tape or DVD, and then start ordering fansubs like the good old days. Or maybe the only way you can get out of this situation is to move out and live on your own terms. You ARE old enough to handle your own self.

Or maybe you just need another talk with your dad. I'm not sure how your dad is like and I'm not saying I do, but my mom wasn't that happy about me being on the internet and watching/reading anime/manga so much at first either. She never set such harsh bounderies, unlike your father, but I did tell her that I do plan on using these experiences to make money in the future, and she became totally supportive of my hobbies.

Maybe you need to tell your dad that what you've learned through anime and the internet has had a true effect on yourself and continuation of it may be worth HIS aggravation. Ask him how would HE feel if he was told not to watch TV again, or change his religion to fit someone else's agenda? And ask him how would he feel if you ever got totally rich by having a career in the internet and/or anime business, and knowing that he was the one who actually told you to stay the fuck away from it?

Don't cry, David; remember, no one can really change what you believe, so you don't have to fight for it.

Posted by Saka @ 11/18/2002 07:48 PM PST

Woah... that's harsh..:O! I can't believe he is making you choose between the two things in your life you love so much..;-; I don't know what I would do if I were in your situation right now.. I really don't.
My dad is usually pretty understanding about my web designing and just the whole existing on the computer thing in general, because he is the same way.. However, my parents aren't too crazy about my hobbies either. Let me guess, your father probably says that your hobbies take too much of your time, time which should be spent working in your studies or at the gym, right? I've been through similar things.. there was the whole my mother only allowing me go on the computer for an hour a day (which lasted about half a year before she forgot about it) thing.. The whole signing me up for swimming and art and pottery (don't ask) classes to drag me away from the TV. It'll pass. Trust me.
There's only one advice I can give you really.. don't try to act all rebellious and disobey your parents..:o Instead, give your manga and image file CD's to a friend to keep, find times when you are alone in the house and.. you'll have no problem ^^;;
*sigh* ..parents. Have they completely forgot what it's like being our age ;-;?

Posted by Lini @ 11/18/2002 05:09 PM PST

Hey Senpai. I'm sorry that you are faced with such a difficult decision. =( I can understand where you're coming from. Anime has taught me many valuable lessons too and a lot of people don't understand that there's so much more behind it than just ink and colors. Just know that I'm here if you need me. I can help hide stuff too. I really hope that things get better for you and turn out for the best. You're the nicest person I know and for something like this to happen to you just isn't right. Taking away one's happiness and joy is a crime and you deserve so much better! I know you'll make it through this! So stay strong, keep that chin up high, and keep smiling 'tay? They fit you better than sad faces. ::big hugs:: Take care.

Posted by Shana-chan @ 11/18/2002 02:53 PM PST

You may not know me as I don't know you but I thought I'd give you some advice since I'm through the same kind of situation ^_^;

My parents disaprove of anime also since I have to hide away my stuff and claim my japanese anime music is to help me "Study" (puh-lease). Anyways choose the net since when you look at anime your dad can't be able to monitor EVERYTHING you do and you can secretly hide everything. You can even start a new user on the computer for yourself and store all your stuff with a password YOU only know.

Also bring this up to your dad; if you give up something than HE should give up something too! Mention something YOU don't like and tell him about it saying it's only fair. If you have to sacrafice something than he has to too. If not, than he's being the hebricatal type and why should you give yours up if he doesn't give up his?

And no offense to your dad but anime is becoming so popular amoung the ages now. Soon most of the television shows on t.v. will be anime and he won't be able to stop it :P

That is just a suggestion since I'm not sure what your dad is *completely* like and I don't want to get you in any more shit. Just mention to your dad the idea if he gets on your case to much :P Good luck with everything ^_^ If your lucky, your dad will get a taste of his own medicine and reconsider the situation :P

Posted by Lynne @ 11/18/2002 01:31 PM PST

what's left to say other than GWAR!!! *shakes fist*
now for my opinions...
yeah... give up anime and keep the net...
i don't need to tell u why because you already know.
you can e-z-ly hide your anime archives at Yaya's or Hana =b and.. will it will give more reason to go out to other peoples house.. maybe watch anime w/ people than watching it by your self.. all alone..
anyway.. me going to wish u luck on hiding/getting future anime items...
... and what does this mean about fanime and expo... nm... i'm sure u can go behind your parents back..
as for parents..
the sexy crew needs a house!
if we all get job's and pull together... we'll never have to live w/ parents ever again...
untill then... we need a gathering just for fun ^__^
come on david.. we should play intial d and some SC2

Posted by Cinti @ 11/18/2002 12:20 PM PST

pooor david, i feel so sorry you, when parents are like that it hurts a lot. But i can't help but cry even though i try to hold it in. If you want you can safe guard your anime over at my house or somethingl ike that, youcan come over and watch it too, well back to stock market stuff later

Posted by Nanona::: @ 11/18/2002 11:02 AM PST

Dah! Poor Sempai! I feel so bad for you! Well, I can agree that closet fandom is better than no fandom at all, but I know that that's gonna be hard too. And like Hana, I can help u hide stuff. I live close by, so if'n you ever wanna watch ur stuff, u could juss pop over, or I'll bring it 2 u. Dah! I feel so bad 4 u! But I'll be there for you whenever you need me to be. That's what friends are for, ne? *massive huggles* Feel better Sempai!

Posted by Shelly @ 11/18/2002 07:34 AM PST

You don't know me. I don't know you. I found this searching the web to explain why there was this huge crowd that I couldn't push through to get to my beloved IIDX at SVGL on Saturday.

But yeah, Asian parents == teh suxx0rz. "Go to college. Get a degree near the top of your class. Get a high paying job. Retire at 30. Stop wasting your time on stupid games that don't increase your earning potential. Stab your friends in their backs so they can't compete with you for the really good jobs. Blah blah blah." Been there, heard that. Fortunately, mine have mellowed out (though now they can't tell me what to do because I don't even live at home anymore).

My advice? Run away. Okay, in the absence of that, give up the net and then just find other places to use it. School, libraries, friends, public access (i.e. SJSU student union), whatever. Sure, you won't have instant messaging, and you won't be able to get any more anime. But there'll always be that research project or crucial job prospect that just REQUIRES you have access to the web or an e-mail address.

Posted by zqfmbg @ 11/17/2002 10:58 PM PST

my gawd~ Gwar at parents!!!

Bleh, if i was put into that situation.. I'd prolly give up anime, becausse even though you can't express it, you can still secretly love it and watch it whenever you can, you can't exactly do that with the internet, because the internet has millions of possiblites that you can do.

man~ I'd be crushed if my parents did something like that, I'm proud of you for staying strong like this. Be strong Davey Kun~ We'll always be here to support you^^

Posted by T-Chan @ 11/17/2002 10:45 PM PST

Hey Tsu-kun. I'm here. ^^;; I just read your recent rant and I'm somewhat sadden by your situation.::hugs::It's the least I can do is try to comfort a friend. ^__^ It's okay. Are those tears I see? Please, senpai I don't want to see you sad anymore.:wipes off tears:: =( Now those lectures your daddy gives you, are just messed up as hell. I don't understand why, he wants to take away your happiness and I agree asian parents do SUX. =P Senpai, I've only met you in Junior year, but throughout the things we've been through together. Your too wonderful to deserve such a exagerating excuse. Your dad doesn't understand the importance of this at all. It makes me sad, yet angry. I know my words aren't that helping to you, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here if you need me. =)

P.S If you want to hide some anime things, I'd be willing to hide them in my house for you, if you like.^__O Hey, it's something I'm willing to do for a friend.

Posted by Kristine @ 11/17/2002 10:37 PM PST

>_x;; Nyuuu... I can't believe your dad is making you do that. He shouldn't control what you should like and not. It doesn't make sense because you can't control their heart and decision. ;_; Tsu-kun, no doubt that's a really hard decision. I think I'd be traumatised if I had to do that. *hugs* Do you think he will change and forget about it? ><; I guess the best choice would be to say that you give up anime, to love it in secret, but that just plain sucks to not be able to express your heart's desires. Gomen ne, this imouto-chan doesn't know what to really say.

and before I forget: can you like tell me the times you are home? x_X;; *doesn't want to play a guessing game*

Posted by Saga @ 11/17/2002 10:15 PM PST

I'm very sorry you've reached such a difficult decision...but life is full of those. I know you don't know me, but I couldn't leave you without giving you a little encouragement, especially since you asked. And because I know how you feel. Trust me...it isn't as hard as you think. It will be in the beginning...but "closet anime fandom" is better than banishment. My parents feel anime is a waste of my time. ^_^ I dont! Hang in there, you can make it!! Besides, after awhile he may become lenient. I can watch anime and read manga now as long as no one's home. If you need a hand, feel free to email me. I'm always there for someone in need.

Posted by no one @ 11/17/2002 09:02 PM PST

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