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11/19/2002 Archived Entry: "No More Computer Room! ;_;"

My dad moved the computer. Yes, he decided to remove the computer from the nice, happy, cozy, tucked away computer room and move it into the bigger, colder, slightly less personal living room. He says that I shouldn't be hiding in the computer room away from all the other happenings in the house. I hate that. I loved my computer room. It had everything I wanted and I was all nice and happy in there. It was my refuge from the rest of the world. It was a room where nothing bad could happen. I had my computer and a TV which I didn't use often, but it came in handy when I wanted to watch DVDs and play some video games. Now the computer is in the living room, so I'm forced to spend my time there instead. And, for good measure or something, he moved the TV out of the computer room. I don't see why.... Without the computer in there, I wouldn't spend time there anyway.... Well, this really sucks. My happy place in this world has now just be completely taken away from me. There's nothing left in the room aside from a bunch of CDs and DVDs I can't even use in the room, some computer hardware, a TV tray, and some misc stuff. All things considered, it's not all that bad because I still get plenty of privacy in the living room (my dad's in the family room and my mom... well... she just doesn't go through the living room often), but it's just not the same. Now I don't have my nice little haven anymore. I want it back darnit! ;_;

As for other happenings, I've begun going to tutoring to help me pull up my grade in calc. I gotta do well from now on. I must do well, I must do well.... It's actually rather helpful. I'm glad I took the initiative. I just pop by everyday for about an hour or so before my first class. I usually get to school early anyway, so why not?

I've just been reflecting upon what's happened to me in this last week; it sucks. I'm sure most anyone can see that. I'm not exactly taking these things really well, but I'm amazed at how calmly I'm actually taking everything. I know that had all this stuff happened to me maybe a year ago, I would have probably broken down and gotten extremely depressed. I guess it's because I've been growing progressingly less emotional. Yah, I've noticed this for a while now. I used to consider myself really emotional, but now I'm not quite so sure. I can be so cold and emotionless in regards to some things I amaze myself. Bah... this is what emotional scars and anti-social tendencies will do to you I guess. I wonder if I'll ever be emotional again. Not that I particuarily want to be, but it wouldn't be bad. Whatever's fine with me.

Replies: 9 comments

Whoa...I swear, you and I have so much in common. I'm getting tutoring for Algeo and Physics today...bad stuff >_<

And also in regards to the emotional issue...I used to break down and cry at night whenever I have blowups with my mom, but now I juust don't care anymore.

Good luck to the both of us...cheers!

Posted by Sepia @ 11/23/2002 06:38 AM PST

bah~ that sucks =(

Posted by T-Chan @ 11/21/2002 05:05 PM PST

The compy is in the living rooom now??I even liked that room too. ><; I don't get parents at all. Nyeh...

Posted by Hana @ 11/21/2002 03:01 PM PST

... should i start buying goth wear now?

Posted by Cinti @ 11/21/2002 02:29 PM PST

that sucks......San-pai how dare your dad tryin mess up your life

Posted by anthony @ 11/20/2002 04:42 PM PST

OMG! Your Dad took away your haven? I think he's going a little overboard with the whole thing (no offence or anything). The computer room's a nice room too! Daijoubu ::pat pat:: I agree wit Shelly, we do need safe haven's to shelter us when the world is really horrible. I know I'd go crazy if my computer was taken away.

Posted by Shana-chan @ 11/20/2002 04:30 PM PST

I can't see why you would want to be emotional. Being moody and emotional myself, I can never take things like this calmly. Anyway, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I think something is really bugging your dad.. something that probably has nothing to do with you, he's just taking it out on you. Think about it, it's been..only three days, and he has already done so much. Maybe you should find out whats up..:o

Posted by Lini @ 11/20/2002 04:04 PM PST

Good frickin' lord, is your dad purposely trying to ruin your life?! If I didn't have my little haven, I'd probably go crazy. We all need our little havens! We need them to shelter us from how horrible the world really is! Gwar at parents! Gwar I say!

Posted by Shelly @ 11/20/2002 07:09 AM PST

I wonder...if it's just a college thing...that we just grow less attached to the things we loved. I feel the same. Just a wonder...

Posted by June @ 11/19/2002 11:11 PM PST

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